I am most comfortable in the deep end. I read a great analogy this week about the deep end versus the shallow end of our faith. And by choice, I have always done things the hard way, found myself uncomfortable, and grown incredibly. From day one, I liked the high dive, I choose the long run home, and I always went to morning swim practice. In college I attended two schools, changed majors three times, then went a totally different direction upon finishing. When Bob and I married, and my brother-in-law met him for the first time, he simply said "good luck, she does things her own way." Bob's never forgotten that comment. We spent little time getting to know each other before our wedding, and we've spent countless hours in counseling because of that. We had babies right away, we moved two states away from family, have struggled with finances, jobs, depression, God, and each other. And in the deep end of struggling to stay afloat, trusting God to come through, and leaning into one another we've found it to be much more appealing than the pool floats and umbrella drinks of life.
We still struggle, and we always will in one way or another, because we want a more fulfilling life. The year and a half journey of adoption paperwork, being turned away by an agency, raising funds for something we didn't know how and when would come to fruition, only to be put on hold with a pregnancy, and trusting it's God's timing and not our own reminds us constantly we are not in control. The sure footing of 3 feet of water has always eluded us. And that's ok. We'd rather swim.
My heart is still in Africa, and I've never had the desire to be out of this country. I like home. I'm content on the couch. Bob's heart is for helping, in any form. He'd expend himself to the point of exhaustion for others, and does on a regular basis for his family. And to keep that God given desire lit, it needs to be watered and you need to work. And so we've found ways to do it, to keep treading in the waters where our heart leads. For Bob, it's here, for me, it's Africa.
Nehemiah 4:6 “So we built the wall. And all the wall was joined together to half its height, for the people had a mind to work.” Have a mind to work, be linked with those that help you stay afloat, focus on the One that keeps you afloat, and the deep end will be more fun, even the moments you feel like you're drowning :)