the last bits... of our home study.

This has been a week of the "lasts" of our home study completion.  On Monday, we visited with the social worker, to show her our new house and fill her in on our summer.  And what a summer it's been.  When we put things on hold, we didn't know what the future would hold.  We knew we needed to give some undivided attention to our marriage, our family, and some other circumstances that were beyond our control.  We wonder if the attention needed would have come about without having been in this process, we're thankful for the tough times, and for the new mercies each morning.  To have a home study done on your family is to be an open book, vulnerability is not my strong suite.  To open up about the hard, ugly parts, and to be judged for them, with no control over what is written about your family, is breath taking.  But necessary.  We have nothing to hide, we are who we are, we are a complete work in progress, with moments of hard, moments of joy, moments of triumph, and moments of defeat.  And we wouldn't change a moment of it.  When this little guy joins our family, the little guy that our three dream about about daily, talk about, and ask many questions about (his size, the color of his skin, his name, when we'll get him), we'll be ready.  We know its in His perfect time, and not our own.

This Saturday we have our final training, and then it's written, the home study will be complete and submitted to the placement agency.  And then we do some more waiting.  I've never, ever been a patient person, ever.  Ever.  And this process is shaping my whole being.  Again, no doubt He brought us here to make us who He wanted us to be.  There's no stones unturned when we submitted to His will for our lives, there's no part He hasn't touched.  He is giving us a life full of joy and victory, far beyond what we deserve or ever imagined, in the form of our children, the restoration of our marriage (that we know will always be a work in progress), the care of our health, finances, safety, and beyond.  And even if it was all stripped away, which in times of our life it felt like it had been, we trust Him.  What is written about us, is in His hands, our little guy, is in His hands, our three, are in His hands, and our marriage, is in His hands.