tomorrow.we.go.public.

And it makes anxious.  You all may read this, tomorrow.  It's big news for us.  It's a huge commitment.  Its a scary process.  It's a LONG process.  It's a complete surrender to His will for our life.  Do you all realize I can get pregnant by looking at my husband?  It's true.  This process has been stirred in my heart since a child and was really brought to fruition back in April.  We sat in church and the video I shared below was live in front of us... with tears streaming down my face I turned to Bob and said, "thats what we should be spending our money on" and he said, "yes, that's #4."  I've always wanted a big family, and a suburban.  Silly I know, but it's been a symbolism in my head for a long time.  We bought a suburban this summer, for a few reasons: yes, Bob builds furniture and we need a lot of room to haul wood and pieces he builds, but more importantly, this makes room for our family that will grow, a year from now, or 3 years from now.  I told you it was a long process.  Most of the hesitation comes from what other people think.  I'm a people pleaser, its a dangerous problem.  I care way too much about what the world thinks of me, instead of banking on what God calls me to do.  I think most people's worry comes from how the hell we'll pay for this?  It's no secret our financial life has been hard, we've struggled, more than some, not as much most.  And this will be hard.  We are prayerfully going into this with the hope to do it debt free.  We have fundraising ideas, we've been saving like crazy since April in a very visible jar in the kitchen, it has pennies in it, and it has 100s in it, we've adjusted our budget, and we have creative plans to add to that jar.  We trust that God is bigger than this seemingly daunting amount of money and are moving forward.  And we are like minded in hearts and minds as husband and wife, more so than we've been on anything.  It's a welcoming assurance and a leap of faith.  Here goes everything!!