We still need your help!

This process is long and... Worth it.

We still need your help!  We are no one special, just a simple family, knowing we have love to give another family member.

Our next step is working our way through the fee schedule for the adoption of our little guy.

You can make a donation though PayPal, our account is: erinmhansel@hotmail.com

Do you have a fundraising idea? Email me, erinmhansel@hotmail.com

Read more about our journey through this blog!

Most importantly, thank you for sharing our story. The more people we reach, the more likely we are to fill this spot in our heart!

Thank you!

Bob, Erin, Jett, Maggie, and Faye

the last bits... of our home study.

This has been a week of the "lasts" of our home study completion.  On Monday, we visited with the social worker, to show her our new house and fill her in on our summer.  And what a summer it's been.  When we put things on hold, we didn't know what the future would hold.  We knew we needed to give some undivided attention to our marriage, our family, and some other circumstances that were beyond our control.  We wonder if the attention needed would have come about without having been in this process, we're thankful for the tough times, and for the new mercies each morning.  To have a home study done on your family is to be an open book, vulnerability is not my strong suite.  To open up about the hard, ugly parts, and to be judged for them, with no control over what is written about your family, is breath taking.  But necessary.  We have nothing to hide, we are who we are, we are a complete work in progress, with moments of hard, moments of joy, moments of triumph, and moments of defeat.  And we wouldn't change a moment of it.  When this little guy joins our family, the little guy that our three dream about about daily, talk about, and ask many questions about (his size, the color of his skin, his name, when we'll get him), we'll be ready.  We know its in His perfect time, and not our own.

This Saturday we have our final training, and then it's written, the home study will be complete and submitted to the placement agency.  And then we do some more waiting.  I've never, ever been a patient person, ever.  Ever.  And this process is shaping my whole being.  Again, no doubt He brought us here to make us who He wanted us to be.  There's no stones unturned when we submitted to His will for our lives, there's no part He hasn't touched.  He is giving us a life full of joy and victory, far beyond what we deserve or ever imagined, in the form of our children, the restoration of our marriage (that we know will always be a work in progress), the care of our health, finances, safety, and beyond.  And even if it was all stripped away, which in times of our life it felt like it had been, we trust Him.  What is written about us, is in His hands, our little guy, is in His hands, our three, are in His hands, and our marriage, is in His hands.  

where we started.

And I don't think it's come to an end. Our hearts were drawn to Uganda, for a reason. And while it doesn't make sense at times, this long curvy road, I don't doubt God will use it.

Our friends, who are in need of prayer in their adoption and for the health of their little girls they haven't yet brought home, brought these back from Uganda when they went to meet their daughters.  It's amazing to have support of people, who while in the thick of it themselves, think of you also.  

The handmade purses are a suggested donation of $40 and the paper bead bracelets and necklaces (too many to picture) are $20. These would make great gifts, supporting our adoption, especially as we come to a completion of our home study, the time line of when we add to our family is dependent on the money.  And we trust him fully that it will come.

If you're out of state, I'm happy to mail them to you for free.  

we're still here.

And we're still moving.  Moving toward what God planned and nothing we could have ever dreamed up.  Some days it feels like it's a snail's pace, some days we feel like we're making real progress.  But we trust that it is his timing, and not ours.

This weekend is our volunteer team at the Boulder 70.3 triathlon.  Ironman gives grants to groups who work their races and we are super excited to be well staffed and ready to go on Sunday to receive it!  It's a big step forward financially, which is what we need.

These next few months are going to need to be filled with financially fulfilling fundraisers.  With our home study nearly done (it's shy of 4 documents that should be in the mail and 1 training session in September), we are about to encounter big numbers in our fee schedule for our placement agency.  The sooner these numbers are met, the sooner we are able to bring that little guy into our family.  AND WE NEED YOUR IDEAS!  How do we reach this goal?  What have you seen done in the past, that works?  We'll do what it takes to get there, this is our child, and we'll get him home with your help.

Your prayers are appreciated this week, as always, as we have a big decision to make.  We're certain God will direct the path we go down and know that's he's got this, not in anyway I had ever imagined, but in his good, and perfect plan.

We're still here.  And we're really glad you are too.

our own backyard

I've written this post many times, unsure of how to say it or express our hearts best. We've come to this decision after much discussion and prayer. As I sat with a friend by the pool this week, tears streaming down my face, explaining why I feel like a failure and how unsure I was of what people must think of our family. She reminded me this journey is tough, and there's no way you get to your destination without traveling ALL of it. This story, chronicaled for him to one day to read, and thus broadcast for others, will hopefully one day express to him the love we had for him, before we even knew him, and the journey we took to get to him.

When we started this process, we (I) believed our calling was Uganda.  It was in my heart, I dreamed of traveling to Africa and picking up our little guy.  Bob, my voice of reason, quietly said, many times, why don't we help right here?  But we agreeably moved forward to pursue a Ugandan adoption and learn what we could.

I get something in my head and forge ahead, with great speed and constant vigilance until I accomplish it.  I don't give up, I don't quit, and I train harder, some times to a fault.  I read, I gain knowledge, and I figure out the best way.  God's put up with my way of learning for many, many years.  When I told my sister, she wasn't the slightest bit surprised.  There's a quote that says something like this:

"Someone once asked me, "why do you always insist on taking the hard road?"  I replied, "why do you assume I see two roads."

The roads we've attempted to go down, believing our path was Uganda, was a "no" in 3 solid directions.  The stress it was putting our family under was taking its toll. And after many conversations together, we decided to pursue a domestic adoption. The weight has been lifted and the excitement is back, and our 3 love the idea, as their hearts are ready and willing to love this little one as well. Faye and I were walking yesterday and saw a woman holding a baby, in her long drawn out sentence, which seemed more of a conversation with herself, she said,"isn't that baby cute? I wish we could get a baby. Oh wait, we are! That's so great."

I regret nothing of this road, the things we've learned, and the doors that have been closed.  We've learned a great deal about adoption, strengthened our relationship, and have grown closer to God through it all.  This journey may now take a bit longer, but I know it will bring us to our little guy that will grow our family the way God has intended.  And I am so grateful for His patience with my learning curve.

one at a time (or two)

A friend is headed to the airport tonight, she and her family will be heading to Africa via the red eye. Her quiet journey to listen to Gods call for their lives is inspiring.

Sitting in the kitchen tonight with Bob, I told him about their flights and who they'd meet and what they'd do while they were there. We shared the same thoughts, "won't it be surreal heading to the airport with the same intention?" But even louder in our heads was, "will we ever get there?" Most days the task at hand: 3 kids, jobs, finances, adoption, etc, cloud our journey. The paper that needs 4 signatures and a phot ID attached to it sits on the table for days, because we rush past it and who can find a stamp? But we get to it, get our blood drawn, apply for passports, and update this legal document, and that one, and buy stamps. One day at a time, with one foot in front of the other, we'll get on the red eye too.

it would be easier NOT to adopt

When we started this journey a year ago, we stayed quiet. We told only a select few. We told people we knew would support us, pray for us, and encourage us. We knew that telling the rest of our community would bring support, but also questions. We did not realize that this calling would bring hurtful words from those closest to us, and from strangers, unimaginable financial challenges, a severe spiritual attack on our marriage, and everyday hiccups that we now know have been thrown at us because of our bigger calling. But we serve a great God. One that knows our needs before we ask. One that will provide a place for us to live so we can provide a family for this little guy, in His timing. Do we doubt? Yes. Do we cling to Him as He slowly reveals His plan? Absolutely. The lilies of the field trust Him, why wouldn't we?

Please pray for us as we dig our heels in and continue this journey. We are aware that we could say no, no to this little guy, and a lot of our worldly "problems" could go away. But we refuse to give up. He's got this, and our little guy, on the other side of the world, in the palm of His hand.

Matthew 6:25-27
New International Version
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?